January 24, 2008
A Clinton Hostile Work Environment (Bob Franken)
Memo to: Bill Cinton
From: Human Resources, Democratic Party
RE: Abusive behavior
Dear President Clinton:
We have received a deluge of complaints about your conduct as you speak out on behalf of one of the candidates.
In a nutshell, it has come to our attention that you have displayed unacceptable behavior in public, which could severely damage our efforts to take over the country. The citations include:
*Extreme Narcissism
This will obviously surprise you, but this campaign is not all about you. The candidate, this time, is HILLARY Clinton, not Bill.
*Sexism
In these modern times a wife does not need a husband to do her dirty work. She is now allowed to misrepresent her opponent without a man to help her.
*Insecurity
You have shown an inability to tolerate anyone but the most obsequious sycophants. Your rants aimed at reporters who dare ask uncomfortable questions demonstrate a refusal to acknowledge a fundamental reality: They are not there to serve as your pliant propagandists. If you want a
Smithers, watch "The Simpsons."
*Distortion
Because of past behavior, you must be fastidiously truthful. There have been complaints that you have been anything but. Your descriptions of the opposition can be gently described as disingenuous. If you are interested in preserving your legacy you/we can ill afford reminders of the word-parsing bad old days.
The entire party takes pride in the first Clinton presidency, and is delighted at the possibility of a second one.
What we are most excited about, however, is electing a Democrat to the White House, WHICHEVER candidate is chosen as our standard-bearer. We cannot tolerate your divisive, Vince Lombardi-like tactics.
If you Clintons continue this way, you may win the nomination battle, but we Democrats could lose the election war to the Republicans.
May we suggest that you immediately enroll in an anger-management course. In the meantime, this memorandum will go into your file. It's not the first one.
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Obama and his surrogates need to stop going on TV and whining about how the Clintons are a bunch of meanies! It makes Obama look weak and unprepared for the office he seeks.
What does he think he was getting into, a quilting bee?
No doubt, the Clintons have the best punch and counter-punch in contemporary politics. And while there may be some "Democratic Party Leaders" who are reaching for the smelling salts, it's only because they haven't seen a successful Democratic Presidential campaign since 1996, and forgot what one looks like.
Democrats take note: this is how Presidential campaigns are won!
As a Democrat who desperately wants a Democrat back in the White House, the Clinton's muscle-flexing gives me every confidence that they actually know what it takes to win one of these things. After all, there is a reason why the Clintons are the only Democrats to win the White House twice since FDR.
Finally, that Obama finds himself so easily thrown off his game by a little bit of friendly fire from the Clintons tells me that he will be eviscerated by the balls out business end of the GOP attack machine.
Comment by JoeCHI — January 24, 2008 @ 10:35 am
Obviously your parsing from an inside the belt media perspective.If you did not rush like a gaggle of starved geese with inflammatory questions everytime he walked away from a town hall meeting perhaps he would be a little less defensive and definitely less noticed.He is a husband and a past president in that order that can not change.What he does not deserve is media ratings by those who make a living chasing and questioning people like him.You are your own cross to bear here sir so until you hold yourself and your collegues to the same high standards that you hold the candidates and ther spouses I suggest you keep your pseudo-job reviews at close check.
After all you are the same media that helped Bush beat the drums for a war in Iraq by accident .How good a judge of character and /or facts can you really be?
Comment by Linda M — January 24, 2008 @ 10:46 am
Bob;
That was pretty good!
Comment by Mike Coleman — January 24, 2008 @ 10:50 am
Thanks to Mr. Franken for using humor to raise such a serious concern. There is an increasing buzz about Mr Clinton's behaviour and it's effect on party unity. We need to continue this discussion, and focus on putting forward the best candidate in November. We can change America's direction and reclaim the world's respect by rejecting the same old dirty tricks and endorsing ethical, positive campaigning.
Comment by Bill from Texas — January 24, 2008 @ 11:09 am
Yes, Bill and Hillary, and quit utilizing the quasi Jim Crow practices from the past, you know, like marginalizing blacks by lumping them into one voting block.
Comment by Robert Rosencrans — January 24, 2008 @ 1:30 pm
Come on Bob. Just Bill at his best being Bill. And the fools on the left can't get enough of him. For someone from your persuasion stating this is sort of amazing to see; you get it so right. And of course if you really mean it, sorry Hillary, but you and yours are not fit to park your sorry asses back in the White House. Go Obama Go should follow. Of course as I have long maintained, I hope the Democratic Party gets flogged by the Clintons and that she gets the nomination, because He and She are such ripe targets.
Comment by John B — January 24, 2008 @ 2:39 pm
How can we democrats allow the clintons to once again marginalize a whole group of people. How dare they throw the whole of the black communittee into one voting block. They.dissed the Iowans and now she is running away from S.C. and leaving the biggest liar of an x-pres in her place. It is now evident she can not win on her own merits and has actively malaciously attacked Obama. They are splitting the party for their own ambitions with no regard for anyone.
Where is the outrage- the backlash- the retribution..They deminished the office of the President.descecrated our CIA, Military. gave us Wellfare Reform that put so many out of work, don't ask/don't tell, WTO, politics of personal destruction, and on and on…I see the hooded clinton supporters are here in full force but are they so bamboozeled that they don't remember we have a white house to regain and America is waking up to the history not the revision…they see the clintons and REMEMBER ALL THE SCANDAL AND SLEAZE OF THE "90″S.
Comment by bink1 — January 25, 2008 @ 6:16 pm
The Clintons know what it takes to win, and what it takes to govern. Neither is easy, nor is either necessarily genteel. We Democrats (because we are basically nice people) want to be honorable and above reproach. The problem is that gives us Kerry and Gore, neither of whom I would want covering my back in a fight. I'll pick Hillary any day to be there to kick ass whenever the bad guys come after us. If you don't win the fight, you don't get to govern, and then all your "Hope" is for naught. Hillary and Bill, give em hell!
Comment by Glen Williams — January 26, 2008 @ 4:33 am
Glen;
For your information, both Gore and Kerry are combat vets. I would take a combat vet over anyone who hasn't served any day of the week and twice on Sunday. It is obvious that you have no idea what you're talking about.
Comment by Mike Coleman — January 29, 2008 @ 2:56 pm